Alone in the Boat (2)
Alone in the Boat (2)
When Madison got into the Boat she made the most important decision of her life. Experiencing despair, isolation, fear, loneliness, shame, regret, and unworthiness she had the opportunity to give up control and allow the Boat to carry her, or her other option was, she could remain in the state she found herself, lacking hope. Her desperate decision opened a new world, a reality of which she was unfamiliar and yet it provided the hope she needed to carry on. A new beginning, a new chapter that would take her into unchartered territories, unspoken adventures.
In the beginning Madison struggled to adjust to this foreign feeling of being by herself but not being alone. Her whole life she cherished relationships. Quality time was her love language. She never felt alive unless she was spending time with people. The Boat promised her that being alive in the boat would be way more fulfilling than her most joyful experience with her most favorite person, her first choice when spending time, or her preferred location to spend time.
Madison was now on her journey of purpose. This journey will be a lifelong process of learning prepared only for her. Patience, grit, and resilience will be necessary. Perfection, competition, comparison, and people pleasing, add unnecessary weight and should be left on the shore. Mercy, Grace, and Love will be where the strength comes from to navigate any storm.
Other boats floated by and some invited Madison to join them. One day a cruise ship in all its splendid promises floated by. Laughter, music, fellowship, merry, relaxation, new friendships, great food were all calling her name. She left her Boat in the harbor and decided to explore the alluring promise of entertainment. The first few days were incredible, happiness filled Madison. What an enchanting experience she was having! On the third day her feelings and emotions began to change, she missed her Boat. Too bad the Boat couldn’t just come with her on the cruise. There was no room on this ship for her Boat. By day five she was seeing the truth of the cruise ship. People weren’t getting along anymore, arguments, disagreements were occurring frequently. A nausea filled her stomach from the overindulgence of food and drink. The boat was unstable, and the rocking motion was adding to her queasiness. The constant stimulation was creating a headache that Madison could not shake.
When she returned to the Boat she felt such relief. She carried some fond memories but mostly she couldn’t shake the change of emotion she experienced. She asked the Boat what happened. The Boat explained it this way…
“Every human must function out of their own Boat. Until they do, a part of their heart is not complete. The purpose of the Boat is to fill in the void in the heart. When you spend time in your Boat you learn to recognize when you feel this void and your eyes are opened to a new interpretation of what you are experiencing. With each experience you will learn to recognize more quickly, spaces in which you belong and those that you don’t. Most people stay places longer than they should. When you feel those emotions, pay attention. That is my voice reminding you to return to the Boat. Until you return, life will not move in your favor. When those emotions rise, move your feet.”
Madison also inquired about what she saw on the cruise. She wondered why some people on the cruise experienced joy through out the whole experience while others found conflict, chaos, and grief.
The Boat explained…
“The ones who experienced joy discovered how to bring their Boat with them. They never left their Boat even if no one else can see it. They have found a way to keep the voice of the Boat close to their heart.
The ones in struggle may not have yet been given their Boat. You must be invited to get your Boat. No one earns the right to have one. The reason for this, is so that pride doesn’t accompany you in the Boat. You have your Boat but this doesn’t mean you are better than anyone else. It is a privilege to be in the Boat.
And some may be ignoring their Boat...they may have been led to it by curiosity like you, Madison. However, some leave their Boat for other reasons, unhealed trauma, feelings of unworthiness, a lie that has taken control of their mind, a yearning to return to the past. Whatever the reason they leave the Boat, The Boat never stops pursuing them. The Boat continues to invite them back, forgiving every error in decision making. The Boat takes nothing personally. The Boat loves them so much and yearns for the day they return.”
Madison needed to spend some quiet time in the boat. She needed to unpack in her mind the experience of the cruise and what The Boat was teaching her through the experience and the words of Wisdom.
A bigger more beautiful cruise ship came into view. For a moment she thought, how can I take my Boat with me? Quickly she put a halt to those thoughts. She knew what she needed to do. Discern the experience and the message. There will be more cruise ships in the future. If she learned from all this, the next time would be better.
Madison spent weeks reflecting. It was peaceful, calm and life giving. She slept well every night and couldn’t wait to awake with her thoughts because they were kind and exploratory. Not like the ones that used to control her mind. The old ones were mean, selfish and critical. She was growing to love her quiet time as much as her quality time spent with others. Madison was becoming very comfortable being by herself but not being alone.
There will come a time when you will be completely alone. Sometimes it doesn’t happen until we are leaving this world for the next. If one is not comfortable with being by themselves but not being alone, that time of illness, transition to Heaven can be filled with fright. How do you feel about being by yourself? You may consider ways to become more familiar with it.