Removing Blindness

Each one of us carry blindness. Most of the time the inability to see is hidden. Others can sometimes see our blindness before we do and although they may not understand the complete truth of our blindness, they may observe parts of the truth.

So many of my peers express unflattering words about themselves. (I am guilty of this as well). Last weekend at a retreat, a kind elderly man sitting next to me began his comments with a statement like I’m not very smart. He did this many times using different descriptors. I was getting so frustrated with the record in his head telling him that he  wasn’t well informed or worthy of an opinion that I ‘gently’ hit him on the leg and instructed him to stop saying that… ok not my finest moment…

I heard in my head ‘seriously, Lisa?!’

After apologizing to this sweet man who I lovingly assaulted, like a mother would her child, the situation remained in my mind for unfolding. I believe the lesson I was to learn was look for a better way! Hitting people and telling them what to do is unhelpful and seriously unnecessary.

PS later in the retreat I attempted to repair the damage by affirming him, in recognized how he was walking his faith journey with a specific example of living in relationships…adjusting my teacher hat to student application.

Each one of us carry blindness. The profession of which I studied and spent 10 some years working in is my place of passion. Teaching was the career path I chose and that was the correct decision. Life brought some shifts and curves that moved me away from the occupation, but I continue to use those skills that had been developed.

 While raising teenagers, it became very clear to me that teaching strategies were not very affective when communicating with children. The gang, my husband and I were raising, was moving into adulthood with frontal lobes not yet developed and their feelings and emotions moving full speed ahead with vengeance. I’d be dishonest if I said I figured it all out and I raised my kids wonderfully… that is far from the truth and even with the youngest of 4, being 23, I continue to learn daily.

 If I could go back to my younger self and help her on this parenting path, what would I share with her?

 Each one of us carry blindness. When you are at the point that you are worn out by the situation, you are tired of the arguments. relationships are not how you want them to be, you ask why is life so hard or how in the world did we get here?

Then is the time to ask… is there something I can’t see? Is there more going on here than my limited mind can comprehend? Where is God? He said He never would leave me alone, but I don’t feel him.

 Ask yourself… am I blind and do not know it? The answer will always be yes!

Until the day we leave this world, the answer will be yes… but unless you ask the question of yourself, the blinders remain. The light cannot enter. Healing cannot occur. Our free will gets in the way of the love and power that our Creator is yearning to release.

 In the journey of life, we must develop a healthy ego. That ego protects us to a certain point, allowing us to see what’s inside. It leads us to a path of purpose, revealing our passions, tapping into our true identity of what we have been created for. But this ego development also eventually leads to blindness. Our humanity can only go so far until it hits a wall of limitation.

From our wounds we adopt behaviors, reactions and responses that may be healthy at the time of development but as we grow into adulthood those habits are no longer as productive as they once were and if adjustments aren’t made, they can become destructive.

 Each one of us carry blindness. Our ego helps develop our opinions. Opinions are black and white. I’m right. This is why you’re wrong. If we cling to our opinions as if they define who we are, our critical thinking loses ability for growth. We can become trapped in a scarcity mindset. Growth mindset skills must be practiced in order to move past the wall of limitations.

The problem occurs when our opinions begin to take root as our identity. At this point our minds can take on a defensive emotional way of thinking. We can mistakenly take on an attitude that whoever disagrees with me is not for me and therefore we can’t be in relationship or if in relationship, it must be only on the surface.

If our opinions become our identity, it will be challenging to live with a healthy, relational philosophy …It may be best to agree to disagree, a non-negotiable rule for loving each other well.

Let’s be honest, no two people agree on everything. I often wondered how a Republican could stay married to a Democrat. Differences actually make life more interesting. We all have our personal unique reasons for why we think the way we do.

 If one can move their ego thinking from the black and white mind space, into a curiosity of grey, the blinders can now fall off like scales, one flake at a time.

 Growing in this thought exercise, when someone makes a statement that I disagree with, instead of hitting the person on the leg and telling them what I think (ok, I admit, a work in progress), I pause, and try to take on an observant stance. I wonder where that statement came from. Do they know something that I am unaware of? Is there something new here for me to learn? Maybe I am to learn something about that person? Maybe I realize that I don’t have all the details? Maybe this is an area that I now have new information and I need to change my opinion or maybe my opinion is correct… if correct, is it necessary for me to change their mind? Do I need to comment? Or can I let it go because at the end of the day, what’s the best way to remain in a loving relationship?

Through Listening! Not in a passive way but in a wise way. Choosing relationship over being right.

Adding those thinking steps, adopting a new behavior will take years and years of practical application. At this moment, it’s the best way I see to remove the blindness. Because technology has proved that our brains can develop new neurotransmitters, new patterns of thought, I intend to finish what life I have left, more as a student than a teacher. (Teachers you are so appreciated! We need you so please don’t take this as criticism…)

Each one of us carry blindness that is just yearning to be healed!

 What do I now see that I was unable to view before?

 Being in your purpose space is freedom!

Pressure moves aside!

Life moves in a different way!

Time becomes a friend!

Relationships become more authentic!

The beauty of our land becomes more vibrant!

The bird’s songs become sweeter!

Laughter becomes more frequent!

Books come alive!

Gratitude becomes the language!

Darkness is no longer!

Light is everywhere!

Awe!