Deep thoughts from Happy hour
If you’ve read any of my previous writings, you may recall that when I travel depending on my mind space, I frequently seek to open dialogue with strangers and learn what I can from them. I love drumming up conversations on airplanes, on beaches, at bars, in shopping areas and wherever I see the opportunity.
Although sometimes people aren’t wanting to engage, some people are. Generally body language will reveal who may be in the mood to talk. In all conversations I learn something. That something, may be good, or it may be not so good. Many of these random conversations have given me wisdom that continues to develop long after the experience has passed.
My husband and I have been vacationing on the panhandle of Florida our entire lives. As children our families, independent of each other, had vacationed on the beautiful white powdery sandy beaches. After all of these years of driving down highway 231 until interstate 65 was built, we were surprised to learn that they have a rainy season… it shouldn’t have been a shock because now that we look back our spring break trips were often interrupted by rain. Once again, this trip in March is giving us rainy day options such as going to a movie and taking a drive to revisit an area we hadn’t been to in a while. But hey, we are at the beach and a beach walk in the fog is better than no beach walk at all.
In an intentionally designed vacation area like Seaside, many people are seeking and finding relaxation. Conversations with unfamiliar people become much more comfortable. Stepping out of our daily routine of business allows walls of focus to come down. Light heartedness allows random conversations to feel natural. Fear gets set aside. People become more approachable. I think God prefers it that way.
On this trip I have been learning a lot from the interactions with once strangers, now friends.
The first one occurred at a happy hour that we happened upon. As we were walking to grab dinner, or supper, whatever you prefer, an inviting, fine dining restaurant had a sidewalk sign advertising happy hour. I don’t think we have these in Indiana anymore, so we decided to check it out.
Half price cosmopolitans and deals on Lobster tacos are a welcome site in today’s economy!
Sipping on a cocktail and eating delicious seafood, eases the disappointment from a lack of sunshine.
We sat between two groups of people. One group was a successful, wealthy family that was celebrating the father’s birthday. The blended family was friendly but distracted. The small talk was engaging.
On the other side sat a super friendly couple. When a zoom call came in, Bill, the husband, answered. He spoke Spanish with a gentle kind delivery. I sensed he was speaking to a young grandchild. My guess was spot on, and my questions became activated.
He was raised in Peru but spent his career time in Atlanta. We were surprised at his heritage because he neither appeared nor spoke as if he were Latino. We heard no accent.
He speaks only Spanish to his grandchild so that she can be bilingual. How cool is that! With that connection our conversation moved from small talk to deeper issues. We agreed that grandparenting is the best! We spoke of the importance of family, and he shared some delightful memories of his childhood in an impoverished nation.
We continued to chat.
When Bill made this statement, I started taking notes, literally…
Americans are materially rich but relationship poor. Latinos are materially poor but are relationship rich.
Hmmm….
The next day, rain and wind made it very unpleasant to enjoy even a layered-up walk on the beach. Recalling a tactic we Chi Omega girls used while on college spring break at South Padre Island, of moving out of the wind and finding a calm place in the parking lot didn’t help to make being outside tolerable.
Rainy day plans were our best options.
Crying while watching the touching movie Ordinary Angels opened my emotions, leading to more important personal grief work.
A couple of years ago my father had a heart attack while most of our family was down here on vacation. Shortly after arriving at the beach house my parents rented for us, dad collapsed poolside. Most of us were present to witness the traumatic episode. The situation was the beginning of his last days before going to his heavenly home.
The movie and drive down memory lane, both figuratively and literally, were valuable and even necessary. I sat in the suck for a while knowing the importance of not hiding emotions and letting them arise when they must.
After a while I was reminded that we were at the beach. I was ready to lighten my mood. Another happy hour would be a nice distraction. It’s in the name!
We chose a different location. To our delight this restaurant had a solo guitar player. Music being a coping mechanism for me, live music will surely help calm my heavy heart.
Usually, I’m not wild about dark eating establishments when visiting a beach area but the grey cloudy day and the raw emotions allowed me to not fret about missing any vitamin D.
We were welcomed by a very young overly confident bartender who felt he would attempt to convince us of how much he knew about life.
Because of my state of mind, all I could see was a man who is going to fall hard when the world doesn’t believe what he’s trying to convince himself of.
We laughed at his jokes, listened to his opinions and gave a generous tip but not without a little fun. To my husband I said loudly, be sure to tip him 10%. He laughed with us.
A couple from Chicago popped in and was also enjoying the live music in a large room without many listeners. We were in agreement that it wouldn’t be right to complain about the weather, but we were looking forward to the next day when the sun was predicted to shine.
After some small talk, a deep conversation began moving between us.
The quote that the wife Jeannette left me pondering with was…
Those who have, hurt themselves.
Those who don’t have hurt others.
Hmmm…
The sun is shining! Got to go!
And as my TikTok influencer Alethea says… now go out and have a great day on purpose! Ya hear!
Stay Blessed y’all!