Delete the Sentence
While taking an online writing course during Covid, one of the assignments was to ‘go public.’ Immediately anxiety set in. Fear moved into my thoughts, and I wondered if I would ever have the courage to put my writings on social media, such a vulnerable space and one filled with people waiting to pounce on a misspoken phrase or hidden bias.
As the time approached and my courage was growing, I asked several brave friends to read the writings and critique them, another homework assignment that proved to be incredibly challenging. I asked a friend who was teaching college classes on writing, and she flat out refused, with laughter. Another dear friend could only say kind things. Of course, I enjoyed the support, but it was not helping me improve my writing skills. I finally asked Bob Goff. It was his course I was taking, and I needed help with homework. (Bob is a person of availability who puts his personal cell phone number in the back of his books.) He responded with encouragement and honesty. With all exceptional professors, his feedback caused me to realize I had a long way to go but without discouraging me.
Covid lasted too long. A decision was made to take another course. Lysa TerKeurst was the main instructor and although I was not as diligent in the classes, her creative style and humor within the curriculum fanned my flame and reignited me to put my thoughts on paper.
Website developed. Yearning for a new adventure. Anxiety from Covid moving aside. It was time to launch. By this time, I had located two brave friends to help critique my stories. They were intentional and kind. One friend inspired me to ‘go public.’ Her advice...you are sharing your thoughts. They belong to you. Yes, you will make mistakes and upset people but just know that. You will not be perfect and that is ok.
So, I moved...
The first story was well received. The second one was intercepted when my other reader texted and said I wish you had me proofread that one. UHOH! I knew it would happen but was hoping for a little more strength and confidence in the buildup. On a phone conversation she explained to me, my biases that had immerged. My coachability skills were being tested. Her delivery was direct as I attempted to justify my words. She stood firm and I realized something needed to be done. Following the call, I dove into the writing and erased one sentence. Wow that was easy! Anyone who read the story from that time on would not see my error. Thankful that the haters had not yet risen and eaten me alive, I felt relieved and prepared to send out the next writing.
That night before falling asleep, I was shutting down my brain by reading a book that was speaking directly to my heart. Easy to comprehend, the author was addressing coping skills to dismantle poor behaviors that I had grown attached to. Then one sentence made me go UHOH! Record screech! Darn I should have proofread his book. I could have revealed to him his bias that is now high jacking my opinion on his book.
Wait a minute! Do I need to dismiss the concepts that I am benefitting from because of a misalignment in belief? What if my readers did that to me. I would be expected to be perfect, impossible. What if his sentence were there to help me be aware of where we might disagree, not judging it but just recognizing. Who knows, I may be the one who is wrong?
On purpose I am choosing to move away from an either/or, right/wrong, you are for me/against me, division of attitude. We have a third option, choosing relationship over being right, a yes/and approach. Giving ourselves and the ones, we care about and the ones we do not, permission to be who God created them to be. The Gospel message put in action, with all its power and beauty. Let us love people in all the messiness. The way God loves us!